I’ve died a hundred times for you
Half by your very hand.
I will die a thousand more.
I’ve cried a monsoon of tears for you.
Washing away in the current the years of pain, joy, spirit.
Leaving nothing but a dry soul, clean soul, yearning soul.
I’ve lost myself to you, in you.
Sometimes slowly like a lazy river that has yet to dry up.
Slowly digging in and moving everything in its way.
DESTRUCTIVE, UNSTOPPABLE, BEAUTIFUL.
I gave myself to you with such ease, without reason, completely.
I’ve loved you like no other, felt love by you like no other.
I’ve experienced such loving grace from you
Have felt that I’m all that mattered.
Have heard from your lips to my ears everything a girl in love can imagine.
Seen in your eyes what I took for truth
The words that flow from your mouth.
At moments through time my breathe wont catch.
My chest is tight with fear my thoughts full of fear.
My inability to let go of the pain.
To replay your actions that scream so loudly
Actions that don’t match the movement of your lips
Or the words that tumble into my ears.
I’ve tried so many times to ignore the spite tumbling from your eyes.
To shut my heart that you hold in your.
To not die one more time in vain.
To not destroy again.
I’ve felt so much hate.
No room for love in such an ugly place.
I’ve killed you time and time again.
Acted with such fierce determination
My thoughts, my actions scare me.
Have you died a hundred times for me, because of me.
Will you die a thousand times more?
Are you willing to weep a river of tears for me and still see the beauty in it all?
Can you move your lips and whisper all the truth in my ear.
Will your actions match the words that stream from your mouth.
Will I be able to see truth in your eyes, to feel love in your arms.
My soul is stirring, searching, cleansing itself from the past.
My heart is making room for love
Is willing to die again if only for a moment it could feel what it once knew to be true.